Under a dwindling sliver of moonlight, I shamble onto
the stage panhandling the mixed blessings of Mad Hettie,
the bag lady, to the response of nervous coughs and whispered
questions. “Who’s that ???? How did she get
in here?” “What is she talking about?”
The Crone cackles, “I’m planting the seeds
of renewal from the compost in my bag over all these many
centuries.” And then I begin to demonstrate the
point through a humorous and erotic strip tease shedding
of Mad Hettie’s dingy mismatched garb. Shocked and
amused, the audience begins to perceive the sacred theatre
underlying the spectacle and lends their engagement in
the ongoing transformation.
Imagine then, the amazement and wonder all of us experience
when, toward the end of the striptease, I finally reveal
Sofia, who slithers up and around my neck, as another
serpent, Hannah entwines around my fingers. We dance,
all three of us, as yet another incarnation of the Triple
Goddess. Serpent, Moon & Goddess energies, as ancient
as time and as new as the moment!
This ritual performance piece titled Shedding a Skin was
the final catalyst for me to fully reunite and heal the
Sacred Feminine within me. I was near the end of a long
battle with endometriosis, which resulted in infertility
and ovarian failure (immediate menopause). I was drowning
in rage, grief, and self pity. Shedding a Skin was a dance
conceived intuitively, without a “logical”
concept, that only divulged its wisdom upon completion.
The repetition of rehearsals combined with the inherent
contact improvisation of the serpents became a tangible
example to me of the consistently changing phases of the
Moon. Slowly I realized that in reawakening my connection
to the Moon Goddess through my snakes, I was healing my
Triple Goddess nature, coming into my Crone through the
death of Motherhood and the rebirth of my commitment to
living. I made a conscious choice to dedicate the gifts
of my creativity in ritual dance/theatre and my serpents
to the service of Goddess. In return, I’ve come
home to being a whole woman.
In retrospect, I wasn’t always so dissociated from
the Goddess. Born on a Moon-day (Monday), as a child I
enjoyed the bliss of spontaneous movement, dancing around
in backyards or in the woods and was always attracted
to snakes, though I had none as companion animals until
I was living on my own. I have memories of believing I
could walk to the ends of the Earth protected by the full
moon, although my knowledge of the lunar phases and accompanying
energies was negligible.
Around the onset of puberty, I, like many young girls
developed a negative body image and mind set that was
influenced by the attitudes of a society that didn’t
acknowledge voluptuous beauty. Physically, I began experiencing
painful menstrual periods and entered an emotional cycle
of judgment and defeat.
When I moved out on my own, I began studying the ancient
woman’s art of belly dance and joined a belly dance
troupe. Still, the betrayal I felt, growing into a woman,
was deeply centered within my womb and expressed itself
in all of my actions. In my mid-twenties, I was in so
much pain that I began a short series of dances (in private)
that consisted of beating myself in my belly while spinning.
This attempt to exorcise my femininity through the creative
muse was intended to render me invulnerable to any further
“female troubles.”
Not surprisingly, I didn’t want children at that
time either; I was completely split from my Sacred Feminine
and hardly ever noticed Her in the sky. My childhood years
as a Maiden dancing and dreaming under Luna were submerged
as a woman living under the tyranny of her moon. Sadly,
there was at that time very little knowledge being disseminated
about Goddess; women were still trying to become “like
men” to gain equality.
Many years before my breakthrough ritual dance, I received
my first gift of a red tailed Boa Constrictor. I often
danced improvisationally with that serpent in the privacy
of my home, marveling at its ability to move into any
shape, but unaware, except on a very basic level of the
transformational nature of what I was doing.
As I continued to dance with snakes, I found it was
a way to journey deeply within my own story and the mysteries
of the Universe; an experience that is sensual, cryptic,
exhilarating and profoundly centering at the same time.
I refused dancing with my boa Sofia in public for several
years, believing that to do so was tawdry, gimmicky, and
lacking in artistic integrity. Actually, I was simply
unfamiliar with the vast ancient heritage linking the
Serpent with the moon mysteries.
Sofia (at first mistaken for a male snake) was steadfast
and infinitely patient as she imparted her instinctual
knowledge to me through her being. Watching her shed her
skin in one complete piece and renew her vitality emerged
as a metaphor of letting go and beginning anew. From there,
I made the cognitive leap to understanding that the moon
was a mirror influence for my monthly cycle. For me, a
woman consumed with menstrual pain and infertility, this
leap was nothing less than miraculous. Finally, I had
found a higher power with which I was aligned; I could
offer prayers to Her and seek answers.
Absorbing the written work of Marija Gimbutas, Demetra
George Joseph Campbell and Carl Jung (among others) provided
the key to unlocking ancient cellular memories within
me. I believe that I have lived previous lives as a Serpentess
(snake priestess), practicing the moon mysteries and honoring
the Triple Goddess in all Her manifestations. This discovery
was significant for me and the simple faith I grant these
memories now helps me to recognize when Goddess is channeling
vision, ritual, or prayer through me.
Viewed from a cosmological perspective, the world of today
is not very different from that of our ancestors. Then
as now, humans have wondered how we got here, how we can
survive, and what happens when we die. Then as now, all
of existence functioned within combinations of individual,
overlapping, and synchronistic cycles of Birth, Life,
and Death into Rebirth. These mysteries are mirrored in
the phases of the lunation cycle, mythologized in the
Deities, and can be accessed through the observation,
handling, and actualization of the transfunctional attributes
of the Serpent.
With focus and practice, I have discovered that I am
completely immersed in the law of the cycle, living as
a daughter of the moon with the serpents who are one of
Her totem animals. My affinity with snakes, as well as
belly dancing, and struggles with my blood moons, are
some of the individual cycles comprising my personal mythology
and connecting me to the collective unconscious. The difference
is that now I am aware and willing to live fully in the
unknowingness of life.
Most of my life's experiences have been about my rebirth
to Goddess within me, coming to terms with my human and
imperfect sacred feminine, embracing my Triple Goddess
journey as Virgin, Woman, and Crone, and recognizing that
I can be of service to Her. My journey into the healing
of my own personal pain, through the death of my fertility,
was somehow necessary in order for me to understand the
truth that the Dark Moon rebirths as the waxing Crescent
Moon. Coming out on the other side, I am grateful and
consider myself a blessed daughter of Goddess.
I may never have children, yet I have birthed and am
nurturing a career that is soul satisfying--that of being
a Serpentess, a Temple Belly Dancer, and a teacher of
these practices that honor and access the lunar energies.
I believe our species has evolved with a will and a mind
that reasons and creates, so that we can learn to live
in reverence on an Earth that exists within the cyclical
paradox of life feeding on life. This recognition has
granted me peace and reinforced my conviction to express
the ancient rituals of the Serpent, the Moon, and Goddess.
Serpentessa
(Gretchen Brown) is a belly
dancing Snake Priestess who has been living with Serpents
for over 20 years. Her workshops, temple belly dance classes,
rituals and ritual theatre focus on reclaiming the Sacred
Feminine in mind, body and soul. Serpentessa lives in
gratitude for the bountiful blessings, lessons, experiences
and relationships that enter her life on a daily level
through being a Serpentess and caring for these wild yet
humble, powerful yet peaceful beings who are her Teachers.
Performing with Snakes is a privilege and responsibility
she takes very seriously. She has studied Belly Dance
with Jehan, Serena, the late Ibrahim Farrah and Navida
before branching out into performing other forms of dance
and theatre. She is a member of the highly acclaimed Off-Broadway
show GODDESSDANCE. Her choreography, performances and
rituals incorporate a mythological viewpoint experienced
in a current perspective.